Book: You’ll Never Blue Ball In This Town Again
Author: Heather McDonald
Publisher: A Touchstone Book, Published by Simon & Schuster
Buy The Book: Amazon
Before this summer, I had never heard of Heather McDonald (my cable provider does not provide E!). However, apparently everyone else had. So, every bookstore I entered in the month of June proudly had McDonald’s book (on the cover she is lounging suggestively on top of a pile of blue balls) displayed front and center. I eventually gave in to temptation (unlike Heather, I’ve never been one to resist a blue ball) and purchased a copy.
Heather McDonald’s immorality tale of life as a perpetual “blue baller” during her twenty-something years is a funny read. At the beginning of the book, I was skeptical. I had trouble relating to the “hilarity” (maestro, cue up “Cause I’m a Blonde” by Julie Brown) of her days as a sorority girl at USC. But upon further reading, her sarcastic wit won me over.
Throughout the memoir, she recounts funny anecdotes regarding everything from how a “well intentioned joke about bulimia” backfired to a junior high misadventure featuring a teenaged Jason Bateman. Highlights in the book include her dating exploits involving dreamboat Vince Vaughn, Great Expectations dating service and a sociopath named Ben.
However, in spite of all the wicked humor, Heather ends her tale on a sweet note. “The Courtship of Mackenzie’s Father” and “The AARPs Next Door” discuss the trials of being a step- mother and Heather’s close relationship with her parents respectively. I think her writing is at its best in these two pieces. I enjoyed seeing the “softer side” of a woman whose written word is often sarcastic and delivery harsh. You’ll Never Blue Ball In This Town Again is a quick, fun read. A suitable accessory for hanging out on the beach and sipping a cocktail.